"We're Assholes" by Bif Naked

Ask yourself if you're an asshole.  I'm not being mean or
angry.  I'm simply asking a question.  I guarantee YOU won't
think so.  Do you do enough for others? Do you give of
yoursel? Are you selfless?  Each day, when you wake up, do
you smile and stretch and meet the day?  Yeah right.  You
whine about your job, about your friends, about money.  Do
you want a new skateboard, a 
new car, a new life?  Are you a gossip?  Do you talk about
people you don't know and speak...negatively?  It must be
EXHAUSTING for you!  Poor you, with your aprtment and your
Levis and your ex still phoning and your bank lineups and
Nikes.  Poor you had to pick up the cheque at that
restaurant.  Poor you and that grocery shopping.  Poor you
and your good health.  Poor you and your place to live. 
Poor you. Asshole.