"General Hospi-Tale" by Afternoon Delights

Rock it hard, rock it steady
Pick yourself up and get yourself ready
Wave your arms let me hear you yell
Were gonna rap about General Hospi-Tale

It started out in Port Charles town
Where Frank Smiths mob used to hang around
No one could prove that he was a crook
Till Luke stole his little black book

It had names and numbers all in code
So Luke and Laura had to hit the road
They had to find the left-handed boy
Watch their step, they had to be coy

The gold involved was worth so much
Others wanted it like Sally and Hutch
But theres one thing I must confess
Sally was a man who wore a dress

Luke kept his cool, he aint no fool
He set them both up cold
Well Sally died, Hutch survived
And no one got the gold

Paging Dr. Noah Drake to ICU to treat a case of heartbreak

They keep me waiting
I dont mind waiting
Dont call me crazy
No Im not lazy
My day wont go right
I cant sleep all night
My hands start shaking
My knees start aching
I just cant cope without my soap

General Hospi-Tale
General Hospi-Tale
Umm, number one
General Hospi-Tale
Youre my worst affliction
General Hospi-Tale
Youre my favorite addiction

Monica likes to have her fun
That is why she had a son
She told Rick he was the dad
Soon found out that hed been had

Theres one thing that you can give me that Leslie cant and
thats passion

Alan was the father, of course
And he wont give Monica a divorce
Rick wants to get Leslie back
Heathers havin an insane attack

Ill get Diana Taylor

Shes not crazy, uh-uh, no never
She just wants to get Dr. Jeff Webber
Jeff wants Annie for his wife
But he might have to wait all of his life
Cause good girls dont, and Annie wont
And you all know what I mean

Amy Vining likes to blab
Richard Simmons helps fight flab
Susans having Alans baby
Noah wants Bobbi for his lady

Well Luke got another job
The Quartermaines are the brand new mob
Lauras the receptionist
Whats missing now is the Ice Princess

Yes, Luke Spencer, please

Diamonds, not gold, are in it this time
Scorpio, the house of Cassadine
On and on and on it goes
How it ends up nobody knows, cause

They keep me waiting
I dont mind waiting
Dont call me crazy
No Im not lazy
My day wont go right
I cant sleep all night
If I dont find out
It blows my mind out
I just cant cope without my soap

General Hospi-Tale
General Hospi-Tale
Umm, number one
General Hospi-Tale
Youre my worst affliction
General Hospi-Tale
Youre my favorite addiction

General Hospi-Tale 
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
Youre my inspiration
General Hospi-Tale
Gonna stay tuned to this station
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
Tell me whats goin on
Did you see it today?
General Hospi-Tale
Tell me whats goin on!
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
I love my General Hospi-Tale