"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh" by Allan Sherman

Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh, 
Here I am at Camp Granada. 
Camp is very entertaining, 
And they say well have some fun if it stops raining. 
I went hiking with Joe Spivey. 
He developed poison ivy. 
You remember Leonard Skinner. 
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner. 
All the counselors hate the waiters, 
And the lake has alligators. 
And the head coach wants no sissies, 
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses. 
Now I dont want this should scare ya, 
But my bunk mate has malaria. 
You remember Jeffrey Hardy. 
Theyre about to organize a searching party. 

Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh, 
Take me home, I hate Granada, 
Dont leave me out here in the forest, where 
I might get eaten by a bear. 

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise, 
Or mess the house with other boys. 
Oh please dont make me stay, 
Ive been here one whole day. 

Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah, 
Hows my precious little Bruddah? 
Let me come home if you miss me. 
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kis me. 

Wait a minute, it stopped hailing. 
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing. 
Playing baseball, gee thats better. 
Muddah, Fadduh, kindly disregard this letter!