"The Cheerleader" by Adam Sandler

Performed by adam sandler and steve koren

[sound of pom-poms]
Cheerleader: [with annoying feminine voice] ok you guys,
let's hear some spirit!
[performing cheer]
Cheerleader: united, we are united.. we'll be 'cause we're
the tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - yeah!
[no response]
Cheerleader: come on you guys! I wanna hear you!
[still no response]
Cheerleader: come on! the girls volleyball team's got a big
game tonight! and we're gonna win 'cause we're the -
Guy in crowd: sit down!
Cheerleader: you guys are assholes! [whining] you think this
is easy being a cheerleader!? let's see you come down here
and try it!
Guy: shut up!
Cheerleader: you're the one who should be shutting up! this
is my senior year of cheerleading and you're ruining it! I
paid for my pom-poms with my own money. [half-crying]
Guy: you suck!
Cheerleader: [hurt] I was gonna do a split for you guys, but
now I'm not gonna cuz you guys don't appreciate anything.
[something hurled and hit cheerleader]
Cheerleader: owwww! who threw that!? I'm gonna get a bruise
now! I hate my school! [whining]
[crowd cheering softly in background]
Guy: we're sorry.
[pause]
Guy: just kidding, you suck!
Cheerleader: [half-crying] ahhaw..no...