"Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me" by Bloodhound Gang

Why is everbody always pickin' on me? 

The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor 
He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like
Chewbacca 
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you
mistook me 
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a
wookie 
What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son 
He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong
Phooey all in one 
To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu
lookin' 
I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin' 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby 
Why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali 
I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong
with you 
So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too 
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese 
Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti
jeans 
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies 
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie 
You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand 
Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man 
And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first

But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of
a hearse 
About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink 
And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink 
I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard 
It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want
it enlarged 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky 
Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased 
And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD 
Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger
with coconuts 
As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut 
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him
be 
And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop
teasing me 
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no
harm 
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady 
But why's everbody always pickin' on me? 
Cause no one likes you monkey boy.