"The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman" by Adam Sandler

[Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the
background]
"And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl."

[Girl:] "You wanted to ask me something?"
[Excited Southerner:] "Yes, I did. I - first of all I
just wanted to say that you're -- 
very pretty girl, and I, I -- hoo -- 
you'the -- we've known each other for so long now, 
and-uh, it's about time that the two of us -- 
we're both getting older right now, and-uh, and I don't want
to die alone, I -- 
tell you that much -- hoo -- 
getting ahead of myself -- 
got ta slow down, hoo-hoo, concentrate on what I'm trying to
get across 
to you right now, hoo, I mean, 
whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a
house husband, 
you don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there, 
there, I'm, I'm, the-, I'm, I'm -- hoo, honeymoon in the
Poconos, with the -- 
hoo, woo hoo -- sex optional -- 
you don't have to do what you don't want to do, hoo hoo hoo
hoo, 
someday you're going to love me, and that -- that's fi-- 
til death do us part I, 
we'll get the chocolate cake and the sunrise and the sunset
-- 
no prenuptial agree --"
[Girl:] "Look, are you trying to ask me to marry you?

Because I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment."
[Excited Southerner:] "Coooooo."