"Old Philosopher, The" by Eddie Lawrence

Hiya folks. 
Ya say ya lost your job today? 
Ya say its 4 A.M. and your kids aintt home from school yet? 
Ya say your wife went out for a corned 
beef sandwich last weekend - the corned beef sandwich came
back but she didnt? 
Ya say your furniture is out all over the sidewalk cause ya
cant pay the rent and ya got chapped lips and paper cuts and
your feets all 
swollen up and blistered from pounding the pavement looking
for work? 
Is that whats troubling ya fellow? 

REFRAIN 

Well lift your head up high and take a walk in the sun with
dignity and stick-to-it-ness and ya show the world, ya show
the world where to get off. 
Youll never give up, never give up, never give up...that
ship! 

Hey there friend. 
Ya say your radiators never worked all winter and now that
its summer they started up again and ya cant turn them off? 
Ya say your wife sent your light weight suits to the
cleaners and that means youll have to wear your itchy tweeds
this morning when they say itll hit 106 and ya gotta meet an
important business man in an hour and your bridge just broke
and ya pasted it together with bubble gum and ya hope it
dont 
fall apart while youre doing some fast talking to this man' 
And - and your shoelace just busted and ya opened a big cut
on your cheek trying to 
even out your sideburns and your daughters going out with a
convict and your wife just confessed she gave your last
sixty dollars as a deposit on an air plane hanger? 
Is that whats troubling ya, friend? 

REFRAIN 

Hey there, cousin. Ya say ya cant pull your car out of the
mud and youre in the middle of nowhere and its pouring rain
and ya cant get the top back up and your paychecks all
blurred and your foot went right through the gas and your
girls screaming bloody murder shes scared of the dark and a
stroke of lightning splits your motor in half and your suits
shrinking up fast and ya start up the windy road on foot and
sixty yards barbed wire hits ya right smack in the puss and
ya both fall down in the mud and then a wild animal comes
over and runs away with your shoes and your car blows up
suddenly and your windshield-wiper ends up in your mouth and
ya cant move and the muds rising up to your nostrils and
youre sinking fast and ya dont hear your girl screaming
anymore? 
Is that whats on your mind, cousin' 

REFRAIN 

And now, this is the old philosopher saying, so long, folks.