"Cool Guy 2" by Adam Sandler

-{The Sounds of waves crashing}-

SEAN:  This is quite the chill night.  kicking back on the
beach with a fine girl such as yourself.

GIRL #2:  Yeah, the waves are so calming.

SEAN:  So, is your body.  looking like michaelangelo made
you or some shit.

GIRL #2:  Thanks sean, that's so sweet.

-{Sean presses 'play' button on tape player}-

SEAN:  Let's see what's going on under this velvet top of
yours.

GIRL #2:  Uh-oh.

SEAN:  Oh calming, your coming off strong with some
beautiful waves of your own there, baby.

GIRL #2:  Oh sean, you're so cute. 

SEAN:  Why don't we leave the summer skirt on, but let's
take those fine panties passed those long, strong legs of
yours, hmm?

GIRL #2:  Oh my god.

SEAN:  Yeah.

GIRL #2:  And how about you take off clothes, sean.

SEAN:  Oh, oh is that right, baby?  You want me to show my
stuff, too?

GIRL #2:  My god, you look good, sean.

SEAN:  Yeah, yeah baby I keep in shape, you know.

GIRL #2:  Ooh.  

-{she starts to unbuckle his pants}-

SEAN:  Yeah, unbuckle my pants, move hands on my wet weiner
and let's get it swingin'.

GIRL #2:  What's that?

SEAN:  Let's get it swingin'.

GIRL #2:  No, the other thing you said?

SEAN:  ...The wet-weiner?

GIRL #2:  -{gasps}- You know what?

SEAN:  Yeah?

GIRL #2:  I'm going to go throw up, now.  See you.

SEAN:  Hmm, leave me all horny here.  How-- how you going to
get home there, baby?

GIRL #2:  I'll walk.  -{She begins to walk away}-

SEAN:  Mm-hm. I'm-a call you.

GIRL #2:  Don't.   -{She's gone}-

SEAN:  A'ight, A'ight.  I'm go in for a swim anyways, you
know that baby.  -{to self}- Going to get this swing-ding
wet somehow.
Salted off the rubarbs, ain't that a bitch?

                                THE END