"The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over" by Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler]:
And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop.

[Cop]:
Do you realize how fast you were going sir?

{Excited Southerner]:
Yes..yes I do...and uh there is an explanation for
that...first of all..let me 
start off by saying...I...I...I...I...I...you...you...you...
you...work very 
hard...and I do respect what you do...protectin and uh 
servin...I...I...I...speedometer...got the...lead foot...you
got the radar 
gun...not reliable...I...I...got the diarrhea...got to...get
home..for 
the...whoo...it...uh...it pregnant wife...she's at the
hospital right 
now...giving birth to twins...I gotta get there...got...the
guy next to me 
was...going faster than me....just keeping up...with the
traffic...my 
cousin's....also a state trooper...in New Jersey...maybe you
could talk to...a 
tree branch was...covering the speed limit sign...with
a...and a truck was 
tailgating me...I just hope...

[Cop]:
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Here's your ticket. Save it for
the judge.