"Along Came Jones" by Ray Stevens

I plopped down in my easy chair and turned on Channel 2
A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam was chasin poor Sweet Sue
He trapped her in the old sawmill and said with an evil
laugh,
If you dont give me the deed to your ranch
Ill saw you all in half!
And then he grabbed her 
He tied her up 
He turned on the bandsaw 

Chorus:
And then along came Jones
Tall thin Jones
Slow-walkin Jones
Slow-talkin Jones
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones

Commercial came on, so I got up to get myself a snack
You shouldve seen what was goin on by the time that I got
back
Down in the old abandoned mine, Sweet Sue was havin fits
That villain said, Give me the deed to your ranch
Or Ill blow you all to bits!
And then he grabbed her 
He tied her up 
He lit the fuse to the dynamite 

Chorus

I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show
But there was the same old shoot-em-up and the same old
rodeo
Salty Sam was tryin to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack
He said, If you dont give me the deed to your ranch
Im gonna throw you on the railroad tracks!
And then he grabbed her 
He tied her up 
He threw her on the railroad tracks 
A train started comin 

Chorus