"Streak, The" by Ray Stevens

SPOKEN: Hello, evryone,  This is your Action News reporter
with all the news that 
is news across the nation on the scene at the supermarket. 
There seems to have 
been some disturbance here.  Pardon me, sir, did you see
what happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did. Is standin over there by the tomaters
and here he comes-
runnin through the pole beans, through the fruits n
vegetables, nekked as a 
jaybird. n I hollered over tEthel, I said DONT LOOK, ETHEL!!
n its too late-
shed already been INcensed.

Looka dat, looka dat

Looka dat, looka dat

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak 

Fastest thing on two feet
Looka dat, looka dat
Hes just as proud as he can be of his anatomy
He gun give us a peek 
Oh, yes they call him The Streak 

He likes to show off his physique

If theres an audience to be found
Hell be streakin A-round invitin public critique 

SPOKEN: This is your Action News reporter once again and
were here at the gas 
station. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did.  Is just in here gettin my tawres
checked n he just 
appeared outta the back.  Come streakin around the grease
rack there-didnt have 
nuthin on but a smile!!  I looked at her and Ethel was
gettin er a cold drink.  I 
hollered DONT LOOK, ETHEL!!  But its too late-shed already
been MOONED!!  
Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers!!

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak 

He likes to turn other cheek

Hes always makin the news wearin just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique 

SPOKEN: Once again, your Action News reporter in the booth
at the gym covering 
the disturbance at the basketball playoff.  Pardon me, sir,
did you see what 
happened?

SPOKEN: Yeah, I did. Halftime, Is just goin down there to
get Ethel a snow cone.  
Here he come, right outta the cheap seats, dribblin.  Right
down the middle of the 
floor.  Didnt have on nothin but his Keds!  Made a hook shot
and got out through 
the concession stand.  I hollered up at Ethel, I said DONT
LOOK, ETHEL!!..Too 
late.  Shed already gotten a free shot.  Grandstand.  Right
there in front of the 
home team.

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak 

CLOSING: Not totally decipherable because 3 things are going
on at once.  Ray is 
singing a verse and the backup singers are doing  while Ray,

on an overlaid track is speaking  Ethel! Is that you 
Ethel?    What doof his anatomy you think 
youre doin'   You get your clothes on !! 
Whoa, yes they call him The Streak 
Ethel, where you goin'     Ethel, you 
shameless hussy!!  If theres an audience to be found, hell
be streakin A-round 
invitin public critique  Say it isnt SO, Ethel!!